I am sitting here next to you in this awkward silence as if we have nothing to fill it with. I don’t feel like I know you, you don’t seem to recognize me either. And I wonder, what has happened? Where did all the magic go? Where is our friendship forever and ever? Where are our secrets, sunny moments that were shared in mutual loneliness?
I am fearful, not a word is coming into my mind to spill, not an excuse to throw, not a reason for the passed years… But I refuse to let you go, even if I cannot bare any longer your empty eyes and indifferent lines. Because I want to mend things.
I want to take you on a scary skateboard ride again and drown in your laughter, I want to be inspired by you, to take risky choices of late ice-cream and then spend the long nightly hours gazing upon the dancing stars. My only desire is to make every memory best for you and in your honor. I don’t want to regret the passing days, which fall into the unnumbered oblivion. I remember, how I lost you in a crowd of routines. They stole my senses, as I woke up and we were already out of touch.
Please, let’s make things better. Let’s play together again, only fair. So that I won’t be consumed with my duties and you won’t be fascinated with younger irresponsible and fake versions of me. I want you back, the way I deserve you, for all the hard work I had done. Because I remember the dreams you were eager to swallow, but the trails brought me away. It’s a work of your hand. Don’t forget, it’s not all my fault, since you have a darker side, even if you claim it to be your evil twin sister. I have no desire to deal with it.
I know, I’ve lost you, traded your attention for the responsibility, for fearlessness, for unpredictable pain. But you know that nothing in a world for me is brighter than your Sun, nothing is warmer than your serendipity, nothing is funnier than your sense of humor. Please, fall for me all over again.
Please, be mine, not tomorrow’s…